9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I got inside last night via doggy door
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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