Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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