You just made me feel so damn special
it was like his penis was on wheels.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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