I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
worst night to have a conscience
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
