I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
