u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
