do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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