I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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