If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
