Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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