...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
