these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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