The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
