the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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