You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
