does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
