There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
