You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
