I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Randomize
