ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I wish I only lived at night.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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