So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Ketchup is God's man juice
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
