i don't like sucking hair
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
