She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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