It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My penis needs a shock collar
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
