i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
