watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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