you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
