I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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