Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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