Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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