Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
