so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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