It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
