Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
as a side note pls kill me
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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