Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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