We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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