Sry I called you an 8
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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