Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
