I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
send nudes
from the living room?
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