i permit you to call me
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
