Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
