Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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