Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
