My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
