The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
