You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
pray to the hookup gods
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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