He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Randomize
