if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
