i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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