I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
