I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
