I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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