i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
