i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
