Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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