I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
